My Mama – I miss her.

It’s been five months today since Mama left for home – her home in heaven – the home she lived her whole life to see. In some ways, life is a little easier than when she first left; but for the most part, it’s still pretty darn hard. I still miss her.

No, I don’t still cry every day. So, that’s good – my family is glad. However, I can’t even count how many times the thought still crosses my mind, “I’m gonna call Mama” or “I need to tell(or ask) Mama this.” Things were just always better after I talked to Mama – always! It just still doesn’t seem real sometimes.

Other times, it’s very real. When I really, really need to talk to her or hear her voice or her laugh, it’s real. It still hurts deeply. I’m better, but I’m still grieving her loss.

Memories – the memories of her are still so real. I miss so many things – her food, her laughter, her smell, her long stories… It hurts not to hear her voice – or see her smile – or feel her hugs and touches. Wow! It is really hard to imagine her voice now. That’s so strange! I’m so thankful for a recording of her voice, even though she was sick and weak. I’m thankful for pictures. She’s smiling in all of them. I truly long to touch her though! I would love to hug her for a long, long time. I really need her to hug and hold me, too!

Yet, I know she is no longer here. However, the great comforting thought for me, is that I also know I will one day be with Mama again. She will greet me at the gates of my new home in heaven one day. I know she'll be waiting for me! I will hug her and she will hug me.

My Mama – I miss her.