Trusting When You Don't Understand

I was supposed to already be there!

This is what my mind is tempted to think with every roadblock these days. I boarded a plane Sunday morning to arrive in Seattle that evening for the birth of my granddaughter this week.

As I sit here in this quiet, lonely hotel room, thinking 'What a mess!" I am reminded that God may not cause the messes, but He can control the messes and storms of our lives. When things seem a mess, I want to be a messenger. When I succum to tears, I want instead to be full of cheers to help and encourage others. I want to turn my focus outward, and then inward, only long enough to realize, how blessed I am. I have faced many heartaches in this life, and there have been so many times and so many things that didn't and don't make sense; things I just didn't understand. I'm reminded of Job, and how he lost it ALL...EVERYTHING! Yet, in the midst of loss and heartache and misunderstanding, despite all his friends telling him to turn AWAY from God, Job turned TOWARD God. Job praised God. I want that kind of faith; the faith that KNOWS and TRUSTS that all will be okay. I am by nature a problem solver - a get-er-done kinda gal. I need to remember: I don't have to solve everything! I need to be better at living by promises more than by understanding. I pray for faith to trust HIM, even more so, when I don't understand than when I do. Nothing is a surprise to God; even constant delays and cancelations when flying to be there for the birth of my granddaughter. I am reminded of the words of Charles Spurgeon, who said something like, "God is too good to be unkind. He is too wise to be confused. If I cannot trace His hand, I can always trust His heart." As I look out this hotel window at the silent snow falling, I am reminded to be silent; to listen to the things and lessons He may be trying to teach me. I know God is sovereign. I know God has a plan and purpose for everything. I know God loves me. I know God only wants the best for me.

This morning, as I boarded the hotel shuttle back to the airport to catch another shuttle to my hotel for the next 2 days, I sat next to an elderly lady. She'd been stuck for only  a day, but... she was crippled with no wheel chair, she had been told our hotel was handicap accessible (it was not) and would accomodate her (they did not), she was partially blind in both eyes, she had no idea where her luggage was, and she told me she felt scared. In that very moment, tears flooded my eyes as I realized,  this is why I'm still here. As we approached the terminal, I reached over and took her hand  and said, "Don't be afraid. I'm going to help you. Let me have your hand and I'll help you off the shuttle. I'll  go with you to the agent, and I wont leave you until I get you a wheelchair and you are on your way to your gate. You're going to be okay."

Some time later, as I waved good bye to her in the wheelchair on her way, for the first time in days, rather than question God, I was able to sincerely say, 'Thank you God. Thank you for opening my eyes and heart to see a glimpse of YOU. Your timing is never wrong. You are always at work in my life. Thank you for the blessing of being able to help that scared woman. Help me to trust you more.' I am not sure when, but ... I am still going to get there! “Trust in the LORD with all your heart, and do not rely on your own understanding.” Proverbs 3:5