Lessons from Darkness and Near Death Experience

Lessons from Darkness and Near Death Experience

I recently suffered loss of consciousness and consequently multiple seizures. I know that not everyone has ever experienced unconsciousness or seizures. Prior to this, though as a nurse, I had seen and helped many in this situation, I had never personally experienced either myself. It was quite a harrowing experience, to say the least. However, as I have recovered, I reflect back on the many thoughts and emotions, as well, as a few of the lessons I have learned, and continue to learn.

First, when no one else seems to hear, HE hears even your thoughts! ("Before a word is on my tongue, You know it completely!" Psa. 139:4)
I was on an 8 day cruise in the Caribbean. This particular day, it was extremely hot and humid. I remember feeling thirsty at one point, and quenched my thirst, or so I thought, with little less that a quart of fluid. I then, turned over on my stomach by the pool, to tan my back. That's basically the last thing I remember for the next couple of hours. I suppose I fell asleep in the sun, and then at some point lost consciousness. The next thing I remember is my friend asking if I wanted to go get something to eat, to which I supposedly shook my head "No." I remember seeing through the arm of the chair, the feet and legs of my friend, walking away from me, but thinking, "Please don't leave me." Somehow, at that moment, I knew something was wrong. I couldn't move. I couldn't speak. And then, within seconds. I was unconscious again. I remember my friend coming back and trying to talk with me. I remember bits and pieces of trying to put my cover up on, feeling like I needed to vomit once, putting my shoe on. I remember my friend trying to hold my outstretched hand and pray with and for me. I then remember trying to ask him not to leave me, but later he told me it never came out of my mouth. My face was distorted. My speech was slurred and unclear. It must have been a thought in my mind, but I couldn't turn it into speech. I remember medical people talking to me and about me. Talking about oxygen. Talking about covering me. Talking about lifting me. The next thing I remember, I was in the hospital clinic and people were all around me, seemingly frantic, trying to work with and on me.

Fear is Real! But it is truly the opposite of trust. At one point, when I saw my hands and arms clenched and shaking, I became confused, wondering if I was having a stroke or a seizure. I later remember asking, or at least thoughtI was asking, "What happened to me?" No one answered. No one would respond. They were too busy. I asked my friend at one point, "Please don't leave me." Later, I realized, he was much more afraid than I was. Fear. Death. Death is hard on those we leave behind. But, the Lord is there for each of us. Those leaving. And those left behind.

Secondly, learn from each experience. ("Let the wise hear and increase in learning, and the one who understands obtain guidance." Prov. 1:5)
The Lord uses EVERYTHING. I longed for my three children. I wanted to see them again. I wanted to get up and out of that hospital, and go to them. I remember bits of in and out of consciousness, thinking of each person I loved, who was part of my life, both now and in the past. I slowly and methodically began praying for each person, specific needs and wounds I knew they had. I thought of those I had wounded, and asked the Lord to help them forgive me and heal. I truly believe my prayers for them helped me to recover. Look outward, not always inward. Think of others. Do for others. Don't ever stop. There's healing there.

Third, LIVE! (I came that they may have life, and have it abundantly! John 10:10)
Don't just exist. Live! I can vaguely remember when they put oxygen on me. For some reason, somehow, I felt a calmness come over me - a peace. Breathing air was no longer a struggle. It was effortless. At that point, I must've either lost consciousness again or just slept. But as I woke off and on, I remember how effortless breathing is, not totally aware that I still had oxygen, but just feeling comfort. Rest. That comfort doubled at one point when I woke in a slight confusion, wondering where I was, but then remembering I was in a hospital and people had been working on me, starting IV's, giving medications, asking questions, putting leads on my chest. I calmed myself. I told myself, "You must be okay." Then, I looked around, and across the tiny room I saw my friend, sleeping on a nearby hospital bed. He indeed had never left me. Peace. Calmness. Comfort. Trust. What a gift he had given me! The gift of his presence. Numerous emotions filed me as I took a deep breath, closed my eyes, and returned to sleep.

The next morning I was discharged. We already had an excursion off the ship planned. My friend did not think we should go. It was hard to explain. But I adamantly wanted to go and was intent on going. Stubbornness he called it. I couldn't explain it. I had been given life. I wanted to LIVE and enjoy it. We went. I was alive. I wanted to LIVE!

One simple lesson. I've heard these words so many times, but now know the meaning. Life is short. It really is. Don't hold back. Give to others. Do what's right. Make things right. Look for the light - it's there! LIVE. LIVE in such a way, that those who know you - know God or want to.

Meanwhile, LIVE in such a way that you are a credit to the Message of Christ. ~ Philippians 1:28